


vines (take hold)

by greyingwarden



Series: bloodlines [2]
Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Bear hugs, But also, F/F, F/M, Family Bonding, Gen, M/M, Meg and Than are morosexual and Oh Boy is Zag a dumbass, Multi, Zag is a dumb drunk, Zagreus is Callisto's favorite in-law even tho they aren't technically in-laws yet, bear wrestling, everyone drinks too much ambrosia, lesbian/bi cousin solidarity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27488164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyingwarden/pseuds/greyingwarden
Summary: Zagreus has never gone on a double date before, but he thinks this one went pretty well. He had fun, Artemis and Callisto got along great with Meg and Than, and Zeus wasn't there to be a dick this time.They might just have to do it again.
Relationships: Artemis & Zagreus (Hades Video Game), Artemis/Callisto (Hades Video Game), Megaera/Zagreus/Thanatos (Hades Video Game)
Series: bloodlines [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008810
Comments: 11
Kudos: 286





	vines (take hold)

Zagreus paces restlessly, spots of grass burning into embers and regrowing in a never ending loop. 

Butterflies gently fluttered their wings around them, coasting upon the soft wind carrying wisps of the River Lethe. Flowers, as always, were in full bloom, soothing aromas wafting through the air, curling and twisting about playfully. The clearing, for once, was devoid of shades, the only noise being that of the ever so faint breeze. Trees stood tall, vines twining and wrapping around and spreading toward the branches, hanging down in heavy curtains.

Despite the peaceful atmosphere, Zag continues to pace, tapping his fingertips on his thighs. He approaches the edge of the Lethe, leaning and glancing up the river, looking for any sign.

“I’m not diving in after you if you fall in, Zag.”

He carefully takes a step back, still looking, “I do so appreciate your worry, Meg. It makes me feel so warm inside.”

Than sighs, a soft, barely noticeable noise, “Charon will see that they arrive safely, Zag. Come, sit, before you really do fall in.”

Zagreus eventually gives in and does, sitting between them on the blanket that has been laid out upon the grass. It’s after several long moments of his continued _tap, tap, tapp_ ing that has Meg giving up and giving in and wrestling him into laying down with his head pillowed by her thighs, her nails scraping against his scalp in a near painful way that has his eyes closing.

His legs, meanwhile, are on top of Than’s and his fingers are a steady pressure on his thighs, keeping him grounded.

“Should I be this worried? I mean, it’s _Artie_ , and she’s already told me so much about Callisto, but…”

Than starts kneads a slow, even pattern into his skin, “You’re overthinking. It will turn out fine, you already know this.”

“Unless,” Meg adds, “You continue calling her that. Did she not already threaten to shoot you for it?”

“Well, _yes_ , but she hasn’t shot me _yet_.”

“Zagreus. She hasn’t had the chance until now.”

Zag stares up at her, eyes half-lidded, feigned hurt heavy in his voice, “ _Meg_ …”

“ _Tsch_ ,” Meg rolls her eyes, “If you want to call her it, it’s _your_ death. Don’t expect Than to bring you back here the easy way.”

Zagreus just barely lifts his head enough to look at him, “Than?”

Than shakes his head, lips twitching, “Don’t look at me like that, Zag. It’ll be your own fault. You may want to collect yourself, now. Charon’s approaching.”

Fully anticipating his excitement, Than and Meg both lean back as Zagreus all but shoots out of their laps. He immediately begins using his fingers to comb through his hair, attempting to push it back into its usual disarray rather than the wild mess Meg’s nails had left it. Pacing once more, he fusses with his chiton, smoothing the fabric over and over again. He’s once more _tap, tap, tapp_ ing.

The two long-suffering partners of the Prince of the Underworld finally stand as Charon’s boat comes into view.

Zag’s nearly one foot in the Lethe, now, and Than has to catch Meg by the shoulder to make sure she doesn’t try to pull him back and end up with them both taking a dive.

“Zagreus!” Artemis calls from the boat as it slows, smiling, and Zag can see one of her hands is extended in front of her, fingers locking with the nymph he can’t yet meet.

“Artie!” He greets loudly, grinning when her smile freezes and she immediately reaches for her bow.

A snorting laugh echoes from across the goddess, one that makes both of the cousins helpless to do anything but laugh along. Even Meg has to shake her head, turning her face away to hide her ever so slight smile.

“ _Artie_? You didn’t tell me about _that_!” A voice which could only belong to Callisto laughs and Zag can already feel his cheeks aching.

Charon pulls his boat to a stop and Than leaves Meg’s side, sparing her a quick look, to approach and speak to his brother.

It had taken quite a bit of work to get this all set up, in retrospect. Zagreus hadn’t even chanced asking his Father without having his Mother behind him, first, and she had loved the idea as soon as he’d brought it up to her. Once Hades had seen how excited his wife was for their son, he had no other choice than to allow the goddess of the hunt and her guest of choice into Elysium. 

Hermes, while typically busy, had been talked into taking special care to deliver messages between Zag and Artemis, especially after Than had pressed Charon into speaking with the god about it. Even with the expediency, though, it had felt like a game of back and forth.

Zag, meanwhile, had decided to do a few more runs through Elysium specifically for the ambrosia he got from killing Theseus. For the ambrosia, of course. There was no other reason beyond that, Zag would swear.

Now, though, in exchange for safely transporting the goddess and her partner from the realm of the living to Elysium and back, Than had an officially signed oath from Zag for his brother.

It’s as Than hands over the parchment that Artemis and Callisto disembark, fingers still loosely interlaced.

Zag’s in front of them, still smiling, “It’s so good to finally meet you, Callisto. Artie has told me so much about you that I feel like I already know you.”

Callisto grins at him, the faint, glittering light of Elysium gleaming off of her deep skin, “She didn’t tell you anything embarrassing, I hope?”

“Oh, nothing of the sort, I assure you.” Zag says and gestures forward, moving to Artemis’ other side and squeezing her hand briefly when she offers it, “Callisto, this is Megaera. Meg, Callisto. Thanatos is delivering my death sentence to his brother but he’ll join us soon.”

“You’re the one that agreed to it, Zag.” Than reminds him drily. 

“Nor did you have to make it binding.”

Artemis and Callisto watch the interaction with amusement and the nymph is the first to ask, dragging along the goddess by their interlocked fingers towards the prepared spot for them.

“So, what is this death sentence, exactly?”

As they all converge on the blanket, Zagreus once again between Meg and Than, with Artemis and Callisto leaning against each other across from them, he begins the tale, which inevitably leads to more sordid stories of mishaps and of enemies and of embarrassing deaths. Many nectars and a few bottles of ambrosia were opened and passed as they continued talking, long into the unending day.

“Callisto, I swear, he kept going _on_ about how his _trusty spear_ positively _yearned_ to _penetrate_ my _soft and vulnerable flesh_.”

The nymph all but shrieks with laughter, covering her face with her hands and bodily pressing into Artemis to control the shaking of her shoulders. Artemis’ face is red, though whether from his words, her laughter, or the ambrosia, Zag has absolutely no clue anymore. Than is chuckling next to him and Meg’s pressing a smirk into the curve of his neck.

“Theseus is nothing if not a fool.” She says lowly, and he can’t help but agree.

When Callisto finally recovers and shows her face, her dark eyes are shining in a way that reminds him of Artemis at the reunion, back when he asked-- _oh_.

“ _Oh_!” Zag leans forward, dislodging both Death Incarnate and First Fury, leaving them disgruntled, “Callisto!”

“Zagreus!” She returns, confused but with spirit.

“Artie said you could turn into a bear? Do you think you could, maybe…? I’ve never seen one before, and the way Artie described you...”

Callisto _lights up_ and presses a kiss into the corner of Artemis’ lips before standing. She takes quite a few paces away from the blanket, just a touch off kilter from the ambrosia, and within a blink, a large creature stands in her place.

Zag unabashedly stares up at her in childlike wonder, feeling a giddiness that was only aided by the premium vintage he’d taken off of Theseus. Which…

“Callisto? Can bears wrestle?”

There’s a choking noise coming back from behind him, on the blanket, but he ignores it in favor of listening to the odd sound of a bear laughing. Slowly, as if it’s taking considerable effort, the bear that is Callisto nods her head, a hint of challenge in her eye.

“I will take you up on that offer,” He accepts, “But, Artie also mentioned bears are very huggable? May I?”

Callisto seems to consider it for a long second before she spreads her large arms wide, long claws catching Elysium’s light. Zag immediately presses himself into Callisto, prepared but still surprised by the weight of the paws when they wrap around him.

“ _Oh_ ,” He says, muffled, not caring at the coarse hair getting into his mouth, “Oh, this is amazing. Meg, Than, you have to try this. This is almost as good as hugging Cerberus. Callisto, I love you, thank you, you’re wonderful.”

Artemis is laughing again, as is Callisto, and so is Zagreus, right up until the bear-nymph slams him into the ground. After that, he just laughs harder and gets right back up.

He’s not sure how long their match, _matches_ really, go on for, but he’s thoroughly exhausted. Throughout the entire time, he kept catching glances of Meg and of Than enjoying themselves, genuinely enjoying themselves, no stress or worry on their shoulders, no assignment waiting just around the corner to interrupt them, and Callisto took advantage. Though, he did the same, when she got distracted by Artemis laughing and opening up and sharing stories.

Finally, though, Callisto body slams him into the soft grass of Elysium one last time and when he looks up, it’s her regular hand extended out to him, a grateful smile on her face.

“I know I haven’t said it yet, Zag, but I’m really glad Artemis has you.” She tells him as she hauls him to his feet.

He smiles back at her, “And I’m glad Artie has _you_. You’ll give Zeus as much hell for me as you can get away with, won’t you?”

“Do you doubt me?”

“I don’t think I can, after this.”

She’s still laughing when they reach the others and settle back in.

It’s not much longer, after that, that the time comes and the dwellers of Olympus must leave.

Callisto gives Zagreus another fierce hug and promises to carry through on her word. She and Meg exchange grasped forearms, as does Artemis with the two standing by his side. Than gets a deep nod from Callisto and she gets just a hint of a smile in return.

Artemis reaches out and squeezes his hand, meeting his eyes, “I’m bringing Callisto to the next party.” She tells him, voice strong, and Zag grins at her.

“Is the bribe needed?”

“I’ll make sure it won’t be. I won’t be taking no for an answer.”

“ _Good_.” He tells her, squeezing her hand again before letting go, “Both of you should visit again when you can.”

“Oh, definitely, Zag.” Callisto agrees, reaching out and catching Artemis’ hand and entering the boat alongside her, “I’ll give you a chance to win when you’re sober. That was just _sad_.”

“You were a _bear_!”

They keep the debate up, interspersed with laughter, until the boat is no longer in view.

Zag rocks back on his heels, exhausted and warm and _happy_. He turns towards Meg and Than, recalling the comfort of his earlier lounging.

“So… about earlier…”

Meg cuts him off immediately and, in an instant, Than, the blanket, and everything else they’d brought is _gone_.

“Absolutely not. You’re bathing before either of us are touching you.”

**Author's Note:**

> just kidding i Absolutely wrote the double date fic
> 
> also no i cannot go a single fic without ragging on theseus. its just physically impossible


End file.
